Look at the face of a person skiing. OK, that sounds dangerous. Instead, look at the face of a person who has just made that final steep run and slid into the back of the lift line. Smiles. Maybe a look of steely self-satisfaction. Ruddy exhilaration. Actual human emotion. Now go to the gym and look at the faces of exerzombies pounding away at the cross-trainers and treadmills. The dull grimace. The empty staring. The hunger to be finished. The terrible, driving hunger.
There should be more ways to keep fit—when you’re off-season, or working, or too broke to get the new gear you need—without turning us into the walking/running/biking dead. As noted earlier, 30 minutes on an exercycle would be improved immeasurably with the addition of a gaming console, a screen filled with aliens, and a laser cannon. Or whatever.
This iPhone app is the latest example of what we mean. It appeals because (1) it turns mindless running into a game and (2) there is this irony, because you’re running from zombies, which is what you were before you started playing. Does it work as described? Haven’t tried it; can’t say. Is it more fun that watching whatever Real Housewives franchise is inflicted upon you at the gym? We certainly hope so, otherwise we might as well join the zombie horde.
What matters is that our brightest minds have been alerted to the menace and are now working to find a cure.
Photo from Night of the Living Dead, via Wikimedia Commons
