What does it look like when you confront your mortality but can’t afford a sports car…and don’t really care?
“Trend” articles are sometimes built on notoriously slim premises, and trend articles on midlife crisis seem especially so. But at least some of the underlying elements of these observational pieces seem true: one ages, one stares blankly into the void, one reconsiders and refocuses. What seemed important maybe seems less so. If there is such a thing as a midlife crisis, this is where it begins.
What is interesting about the generation now entering their 50s—the Gen Xers—is they might not be refocusing on the cars and trophy spouses and swinger/cocaine parties that their elders supposedly indulged in. They aren’t chasing self-destructive fits of ecstasy like guys who have been in prison for a couple decades. Instead, they are (supposedly) pursuing fitness and health in what the Wall Street Journal calls a “Virtuous Midlife Crisis.” (Basically, they are going on yoga retreats and eating better.)
Part of the change might be because Gen Xers married later. For men and women, the median age for a first marriage increased by about four years between 1975 and 2005. As a result, they might lack the sense that they moved too quickly into adult (married) life; Gen Xers had enough of their wild years in their 20s. (Even so, a quick look at divorce rates indicates that Gen Xers are divorcing at a higher rate than Boomers…but that might have more to do with the tendency for old couples to cling to one another as they stare blankly into the void.)
Economics might explain much of this. According to a 2017 report from AARP, Gen Xers’ have a different notion of what it means to achieve the American Dream. In part, this stems from the realization that they will be “the first generation in U.S. history in which a majority will not be better off than their parents.” (Take a beat; mourn that.) As a result, today’s 50-year-olds have dialed back their expectations and are more focused on owning a house than tickling the brain’s reward center every day with something new, shiny, sexy, adrenaline-pumping….
This seems so healthy. And historically appropriate. Over the next few decades we’ll see a stronger embrace of self-discipline, if only because our old carelessness—about our health, our emotions, our carbon footprint—are untenable and ultimately embarrassing.
The kids are alright.
Image via Wikimedia Commons
